Sunday- 1/9/2011

“Oh, I may have had a few tough fights, but the next flight will show who I am.”

The above quote is from the movie “The Fighter” which I saw this weekend with Kristy. I wasn’t sure what to expect, and kept asking myself during the movie if I was liking the movie, since the setup was a stereotypical underdog story. However, it turned out to be much more than that even though the script was so-so. I was overwhelmed by the performance of Christian Bale who made me actually believe he truly was the character he was trying to portray. It will be a travesty if he does not win the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. The chemistry between Bale and Mark Wahlberg, will play brothers in the film, is absolutely amazing. These are the two guys I want to play the role of the brothers in the screenplay I wrote should it ever get made (hint to anyone reading this who has connections in the movie industry). Overall, I enjoyed the movie, especially the plot as it centers around a comeback. However, I am not a movie critic and this is not meant to be a movie review. Rather, an update on what I’ve been up to.

The reason I felt like mentioning the movie is because of its story. Much like the main character, Micky Ward, I too often feel like I am perpetually training for a title fight. My training is both physical and mental. The physical part is important, but all too often out of my control. I do my best to stay stretched and in shape, but the reality is the body will heal on its own terms. Where I have the ability to influence my outcome and shape my future is in the mental arena. The mental side of things is just as important, if not more important, than the physical side of things. I believe that goes for all of us, not just me.

This past week was a very busy week in regards to preparation for my transition back into the community. I selected an apartment and put down the money for the security deposit. This week there will be a home evaluation to order all the necessary equipment I will need. We have begun the process of identifying an at-home health-care agency to provide home care assistance. This has turned out to be a bigger deal than I thought, but we are navigating the waters as best as possible. I will need to hire some independent aides to assist me during the hours that Medicaid does not cover. If anyone is interested, or knows anyone who is interested in some work, please let me know.

I do find myself getting more and more excited each time I think about leaving. While there is a lot to get done, the excitement certainly outweighs the anxiety of getting everything ready. My mom has been absolutely incredible in the amount of information she has gathered and the resources she has contacted. However, she is certainly burning the candle at both ends, and needs some time to herself to just relax. I know the next few weeks will be stressful, but hopefully once I’m settled she will be able to get some time alone she deserves.

Someone forwarded me an article this past week that focused on nursing homes — specifically, the fact that more and more younger people are finding themselves in nursing homes. The story profiled a 27-year-old quadriplegic who is “stuck” in a nursing home. He is unable to move home because his parents cannot take care of him, and unable to get his own place because of some insurance issues. In the article he discusses a lot of the things about a nursing home that are discouraging, many of which I’ve experienced myself but often do not talk about. Some of these things include the fact that you are always surrounded by older people suffering from failing health. There is a lot of death and sickness that you see on a daily basis that can have a negative effect on you. Everyone around you find themselves on the decline while you are trying to rebound and get healthier — it is a cruel paradox that can drag you down and affect you if you do not maintain a strong, positive mental attitude. I’ve been fortunate enough to stay positive due to the constant influx of friends and family I have. The young gentleman in the story has not been as fortunate, and I can only imagine how challenging and draining his experience has been. This trend of younger people moving into nursing homes for care and/or physical therapy rehab will continue to grow and nursing homes need to begin catering to this demographic. However, even if nursing homes become more accommodating to younger folks, in my opinion, better alternatives are needed.

Kristy planted an idea in my head months ago as I talked about building a house. She mentioned that I should consider building a house that would accommodate several others in my condition. A house where I could live with other SCI survivors and benefit from all that we shared in common. We would be able to split the cost of care, therapy, living expenses, etc. Plus, we could all draw strength from one another since we were all going through the same road to recovery. I am beginning to give this more and more thought. Once I get into the apartment my focus is going to immediately turn to building my house. I plan to seriously look into the possibility of building a house that would accommodate other SCI individuals. Kristy and I have even joked about the fact that I should contact TLC or some other network about making a reality TV show about four quadriplegics living together, going on with their lives and all the experiences/fun/mischief they find themselves in. The show could be called “The Quad.”

Getting back to my experience in the nursing home, though, leads me to mention the passing of one of the residents this past week I had become quite fond of. Her name is Katherine Bush, a beautiful 96-year-old, who was always smiling, laughing and praying the rosary. On many occasions I found myself saying a few Hail Mary’s with her. She died peacefully and quietly with her family at her bedside. I was fortunate enough to get to know some of her family as well, especially one of her sons, who is also a Saint Ignatius alum. He and his siblings showed me an incredible act of generosity by asking in the obituary that in lieu of flowers, all donations be made to my Discretionary Fund. I was extremely touched by this act and again reminded of the incredible kindness that exists in others. Tonight when you say your prayers, please include an extra Hail Mary for the Bush family.

I also want to take the time to thank the Darch/Leiter/Wood/et.al. families for the incredible generosity they have shown me. This past Christmas, in lieu of exchanging gifts with one another, they took the money they would have spent on each other and put it towards my recovery. This to me was a powerful sign of sacrifice and kindness that truly exemplifies the Christmas spirit. Thank you guys!

Another exciting event this past week was that I got fitted for my new wheels. Whoever thought I would get so excited about a wheelchair! Now that I am leaving the nursing home to live on my own, Medicaid will assist me in getting a chair that actually fits me. One of the features my new chair will have Is an Environmental Control Unit that will allow me to control things such as the TV, radio, lights and phone all from my wheelchair. This unit, in addition to my voice-activated computer software, will allow me to gain even more independence. Speaking of technology, a funny event happened last Friday. Kristy found herself lost in Akron trying to find a destination she was looking for. Her GPS was on the fritz and she had no way of finding out where she needed to go. So what did she do? She called me, a quadriplegic with no movement, and asked me to look up an address for her on the Internet. I was happy to oblige. Thanks to technology I was able to take her phone call and look up the address on the Internet and help her navigate her way to where she needed to be. This reminded me of how far I’ve come from the days I lay in a hospital bed unable to do much of anything other than rely on others to keep me as comfortable as possible. It always improves my psyche when I am able to help others in the same manner I would have before my accident.

On another note, I submitted a small piece of writing, more like a narrative, to an organization that is publishing a book about overcoming disabilities. It is their hope to put together a compilation of stories, quotes and other inspirational themes that disabled individuals and their caretakers can be inspired by and draw strength from. Hopefully, my musings will find their way into the book.

Finally, today was a sun day, literally and figuratively. The sun shone bright and clear today and I was able to spend a few hours in front of a glass window baking in its rays. I absolutely love it when I’m able to begin the day with lots of sun and warmth. I usually use this time to meditate or listen to a book on tape or some music. Today I was able to do a little bit of everything, which culminated as it usually does, with me listening to some Springsteen. Listening to Bruce belt out his ballads of the characters who live in his lyrics always puts me in a reflective state of being. It’s then up to me to use that mental preparation to maintain that state the rest of the day.

Thank you so much for all your prayers, support and well-wishers. It is so greatly appreciated!

Scott