I’ve often wondered if the day would ever come.
I always found myself hoping the day might arrive, but never knew under what circumstances it might actually come to fruition.
Luckily for me, the day finally came.
Last Friday evening I found myself back in Kalamazoo at Bronson Methodist Hospital – the hospital that put me back together after being flown there, via AirCare, following my injury at Coldwater Lake.
This time, though, I was there by my choosing.
Several months ago, Sara, an AirCare EMT who was not only on the July 3 flight, but also responsible for intubating me (inserting the breathing tube down my throat), reached out to me about the possibility of speaking at their annual AirCare Conference.
Fortunately, we were able to work out the details. And so last Friday I traveled the old, familiar route of I-80 W. to I-69 N., only difference was to drive right past the exit for Coldwater Lake, and eventually arrive in Kalamazoo.
Shortly after connecting with Sara, I found myself at Bronson Hospital visiting the AirCare helipad and hanger. I saw the chopper that transported me more than five years ago. I was surprised at how large of an aircraft it was, even though it looked very cramped inside.
Next on the agenda was to visit the ICU room where I spent a few weeks. Room E-130. I’d tell you it looked like I remembered, but I’d be lying. I really don’t remember a thing about my time at Bronson other than the disturbing hallucinations and extreme discomfort I experienced.
In fact, the first thing I did when I wheeled into the room was to look up at the overhead lights. I wanted to see if there were any remnants of the giant Anaconda snake that used to torment me while I lied in bed underneath. Vivid memories still remain of the fear I had waiting for the snake to break through the plastic light housing and crash down on my helpless and paralyzed body. Fortunately, there was no sign of the snake.
A few of the nurses and a respiratory therapist who had taken care of me stopped by to say hello. Most of them had fresh memories of my stay there, and all of them were amazed at how well I was doing.
Even though I don’t remember them, it was very rewarding to hear their comments about how far I’ve come and the expectations I have exceeded. Like I told them, though, I wouldn’t be where I am had it not been for them.
On Saturday, I was the final speaker of the conference. The doctor who spoke before me, was Dr. Maltz, one of the attending doctors who took care of me. He had prepared my family and Kristy for the worst. I can’t say I blame him, considering the extent of my injuries.
His presentation was a case study of my injury and the subsequent trauma that ensued. He shared the x-rays, medical reports and prognosis for recovery with the audience. It was very sobering.
Sitting in the back of the room listening to him describe my situation in detail was an eerie experience. To hear him tell it, really allowed the severity of the injury to hit me hard like the punch of a heavyweight prizefighter.
By all accounts, I should be dead.
But I’m not.
Although, after being introduced I did tell the audience that while listening to Dr. Maltz’s presentation I felt sorry for the poor sap he was describing, thinking to myself, “I’d hate to be that patient!”
There were a few people in the crowd who had also been involved with my care while I was a patient at Bronson. They later told me it was rewarding and gratifying to watch me tell my story, in my own words, not knowing five years ago if they would ever find out what happened to that particular patient.
Before last weekend, I wasn’t sure what type of emotions I might experience if I ever made it back to Bronson for a visit. Surprisingly, it seemed like just another visit. There was no sense of sadness, apprehension, or even wonderment. And there was no sense of closure. But that’s okay, as I wasn’t in need of any closure. Perhaps that’s a testament to the fact that I have moved on with my life, even though, I wish the injury had never happened.
Like I told someone, I live with this injury every day. Being back at Bronson didn’t make it any different. Rather, it seemed very matter of fact. I was asked to speak at their conference, and that’s what I did.
Unfortunately, some of the emotions did return for my mother, who also made the trip. I can’t say that surprised me, after all, while I may not remember any of it, she was forced to consciously endure all of it. I can only imagine how I would feel if that were my child.
In the end, the trip was extremely rewarding because it afforded me the opportunity to finally do what I have wanted to do for quite some time. I finally had the chance to visit with all the EMTs, nurses, doctors, social workers, respiratory therapists, and others who took care of me.
And finally, I had the chance to say what I wanted to say for five years… Thank you.
Stand Strong!
Scott
hi scott!! i take away something from every aticle i read from you. thanks for sharing. you look great, very well indeed. it’s wonderful what one small group of people can do, working together fore one common gaol, to save life!! i’m glad you were blessed to recieve the quality of life saving care you needed. you going back to the team who helped you and thanking them in person, wow, what an impact that must have for them. the fact that their job is saving lives and you being just one of the many to come and give thanks. God Bless
WOW ! What an experience. You’ve come full circle.
We are all so proud of you and the great progress you
have achieved!
So proud of you Scottie… once again, brought tears to my eyes. I can’t even wrap my mind and thoughts around this and how I would have felt in this revisit.
Hi Scott,
Thank you for sharing your visit with us. I am sure seeing you doing so well must have meant so much to the staff. You continue to inspire. Love to you and God Bless.
Cherry
Scottie: Courageous recount and I bet your continued passion for life made all those folks that made it a reality feel great beyond compare.
God is telling you that it is not your time to see the light. You were put here for a reason. It had to be rewarding for those who took care of you to see how well you are doing. And it is going to just get better for you!
Hi Scott–I am a friend of your cousin, Andrea Kennedy. She has shared with me your story and website. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. You and your family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers daily. All our love–Colleen Murray
There are some days in your life that you will always remember – Kennedy assassination, 9-11, etc. For me, one of those days was when I received the initial phone call from your mom asking for prayers. This call was close to moments after she first received word of your accident. Thinking about it stirs up all those emotions in this mother’s heart.
Prayers were said that day and every day since then. I rounded up more prayer warriors and they too have been surrounding you (and your family) with prayers ever since.
I could not pray for your health or death, I could only pray for God’s will to be done.
His divine knowledge knew the strength that was placed into your being and knew what YOU could accomplish.
Scott Fedor – you did what the saying said…when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. You made lemonade and you share it with the rest of us.
Thank you.
Great read, Scott. Read every word. You are looking good man! Go Browns.
Scott
I am sure that your presentation was awe inspiring to a group who knew you in times of very serious health conditions some 5 years prior.
God does put very special people in our lives in times of our greatest needs. That has been His promise to all of us since his covenant with Abram. It was time for you to finally meet and thank those special people that brought you physical healing. Wait till you guys meet again in that special place for which we all yearning – What a party that will be!
Fred
Scott and Bobbi – I am in awe of both of you. You are such beautiful and strong souls. Scott, having survived a life threatening situation when I gave birth to our daughter, I empathize with the depth of your gratitude. We are blessed to have such amazing healthcare in the U.S. I can only imagine how much you reaffirmed all of your caregivers’ reasons for doing what they do since so many situations don’t turn out the same way. Bobbi – you to know that you are a role model for me. You are a pilar of strength. I love you both.
A wonderful recounting of your journey, Scott. Love that picture of you looking up at the ceiling. Yes sir, the Snake has left the building! Thank you for sharing this 🙂
You truly are inspiring to all who read your words… Thank-You is such a small word that makes a BIG difference when said from the heart! I am so happy you were able to make the trip and say those words. Prayers continue for you and your family! Come visit Florida sometime!
It certainly was a very emotional time; and, a rewarding one as well. It truly was a time to say “Thank You” to those very special souls who saved our son’s life. I continue to be so very proud of Scott and in awe of him every day.
Really, someday you need to write something that DOESN”T make me cry. Beautiful writer and beautiful soul. So glad always to call you my friend.