“Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start”
The above verse is from the song “The Scientist” by Coldplay. We all have a song that seems to tell our story, the soundtrack to our lives. Since my accident, “The Scientist” has been a haunting melody that always seems to affect Kristy and I in a very emotional way. The lyrics have an especially profound effect on Kristy every time she hears it, as it reminds her of finding me in the water, pulling me out, not knowing how drastically changed our lives had just become in an instant.
A lot of things changed for Kristy and I on that fateful day in July. Some of the changes were immediate, turning our lives upside down and introducing us to a new “normal.” However some of the changes were slowly taking place under the surface, unbeknownst even to us as we focused on what demanded our attention, specifically on the care I needed and the comfort and answers we all sought. Some questions have no answers, at least no answers that make sense to us. There are a few things this injury has taught me, one of which is that things change. Our life’s plans, our goals, our dreams and our relationships with others. Things change.
It’s been a week and a half since Kristy and I finalized our dissolution of marriage. Never in a million years did I ever think I would say those words. But never in a million years did I ever think I would be lying face down in 33 inches of water… with a broken neck… waiting to die. Things change. But oddly enough, I don’t feel any different now than I did a few weeks ago. Kristy and I I still spend several nights a week together, we still laugh, cry and tell one another how much we love each other. We just do all this now as best friends and no longer as husband and wife.
I feel like there is so much unfinished business, so much I will never get to do with Kristy. So many of my plans for this life with her left unfulfilled. It’s times like these I’m reminded of another thing this injury has taught me — our plans are not what matter, rather it’s God’s plans and His plans for us that matter. Trust me, sometimes His plans don’t seem to make sense or at least I feel that way because I want an explanation to them that is easily understood and makes perfect sense to me. I believe that explanation will reveal itself in time, but until it does God has given me something to sustain me… Faith.
It’s easy for me to focus on the plans I have lost and the changes my life has been forced to endure. However, it would be unfair to lose sight of the fact that Kristy, my parents and Lindsey have also seen their plans change in a way that they did not want nor prepare for. They also have a lot of questions that don’t seem to have the answers that make sense. Kristy and my family have also been paralyzed by my accident and forced to adapt to a new “normal.” However, the great thing about Faith is that it is free and doesn’t cost anything. It is there for all of us to benefit from if we choose to.
Things change and our plans are not always the same as God’s plans for us. Those aren’t earth shattering revelations, but they can be difficult to accept right away. It is my family and Kristy who have been there the most for me, helping me accept the changes in my life.
We all have the soundtrack that stamps our lives and tells our story. There’s no limit to how many different tracks may appear on it, as our lives are ever-changing and so too is the music to which we live our lives. The verse below is from the song “One Day You Will” by Lady Antebellum. It is another song that has affected Kristy and I in a very emotional way, albeit a different way.
“Down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there’s a silver lining
Just keep holding on
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won’t be much longer
You’ll find love, you’ll find peace
And the you you’re meant to be
I know right now that’s not the way you feel
But one day you will.”
Thank you for all of your prayers and support!
Scott
You r an amazing divine creation of God, sir, whatever has happened with u because of accumulated “karmaas” (deeds, actions) from past life by u! U created this by your karmaas, you had decided this to happen before taking birth in this life! But the way u have shown faith and acceptance that is great! God is with u ! My prayers are with u, create now the feelings of divine happines, divine confidence, divine grace, send divine powerful emotional feelings to the divine universe and attract the divine blessings of universe, love u, bless u!
Scott I can’t believe she left you! All she talked about was you prior to the wedding and accident. She pulled a Jim Cantore from the WeatherChannel , he found out his wife was sick as well as his child and left them both. What makes things not good with me was the speed she was remarried and never communicated with me when I wished all would go well with you, my guess a guilty conscious. Every time Im in Lowes and see Trex I think of you or the PBR stay strong, so much for vowes, through sickness and health,.
What a disgrace that she did this to you. I am sorry. I’m not sure why you still consider her a friend or have any contact at all, but that is your business.
Keep focusing on your recovery, and don’t look back.
I thinkits a disgrace that your wife wanted a divorce ..i know and have read about many marriages that remain true and faithful .. thats what marriage is about being there ..the only reason you break up is if you dont love each other seems a poor excue that she wanted out , i hope this is not about her wanting to be sexually satisfied and if thats the case i wouldnt face her knowing she was sleeping with another man and still well being just friends that is so wrong and she has no faith or undertsanmding of marriage vows
Still keeping you in my prayers and also asking God for at leastsome of the courage you display. My wheelchair is a prison sometimes but you’re abreath of fresh air to remind me that my heart and soul lets me fly free. Godspeed, Scott
Dear Scott,
I had viewed this site many months ago after Beth told me about you. Your story was so devastating like too many I know. God has called me back to praying for you.
Just reading this post strengthens and encourages me to believe in THE one and only true God.
I like what Marie said. Continue to be good stewards of this relationship for it is your “new normal” She is in you and you in her just as we are one in Christ.
I look forward to praying with and for you.
Blessings
Connie
You are one of the strongest men alive. Your attitude and faith is something that all of us should admire and benefit from. You are indeed an inspiration to me and many othters!!
may god continue to bless you and your family.
sincerely,
Terry
Thank you for sharing your beautiful story with all of us. Your love for each other be it as husband and wife or as best friends will never end. God bless you both and may his peace be with you.
Love,
Cherry
Dear Scott,
My wife and I have thought of you so often. We just live down from Gary and Karen on Coldwater Lake. We were the new big two story victoria home. Yes things change in a hurry.
We came to Florida in October as a snowbird, then came home for Chrstmas and on December 19th our daughter in law passed away on the bedroom floor where our son found her at 7:00 in the morning. She had a heart attack at age 29.
She had a daughter age 9 which became our granddaughter in fact she was with us on Coldwater Lake the night her mother passed. (Thank GOD for that) On Christmas Eve our son and my wife returned Morgan to her real father in northern Michigan. Yes change for our son who now comes home to an empty home his family gone. Then the stress got to me and I had a heart attack, got a defibulator & pace maker and returned to Florida this past Saturday for the rest of the winter. We decided to list our home on the lake and sell to return to Fort Wayne to be closer to our son and daughter, and our daughters girls our grandchildren. I thought this would be better if something down the road should happen to me my wife could not keep up with the snow and etc at the lake. We will look at a condo or villa and spend the summers in Fort Wayne, and the winters in North Fort Myers. You may remember me I was the guy who always was walking the big St Beanard on Coldwater Lake.
I am so sorry that life for you has not turned out as you wished, but admire your strenght and courage. I know our prayers for you has been working, although not always sure things turn out the way we want them too, but GOD has a plan and he is in control.
Well I got to get some rest now it’s been a big day for me. I walked around a mile todoay in the sunshine 78 degree’s and I am tried. Drop me a line anytime and I will stay in touch. Will keep you in my prayers.
In Christian Love
Bill Curry
Dear Scott and Kristy,
Your courage is no less than awesome on so many levels.
God Bless Both of you.
Scott…the journey has been long and so many times painful but like I have posted before your strength is amazing and you teach each one of us so much about life, love and the things that are important in life. Hang in there my friend…we are all praying for you and pulling for you every day.
God Bless!
I think that the cost of faith is surrender and not everyone has the courage to pay. Blessed are those who do.
A Poem by Isabelle- A Lakota 10th Grader
“Love is
the climax of my happiness,
and the pinnacle of my pain.
Love is
the fire in my heart with
an eternal flame.”
Margie says it best above…
May God continue to give all of you strength, peace and love in every day, every situation.
Praying for all of you.
Keeping you in our prayers…. Life is so hard, so cruel, so fun, so crazy…. God Bless you on your Journey Scott…
We will think of you tomorrow as we are going to the Cleveland vs. Magic game (tickets were cheap and it is Catholic Schools week so the Magic ran a special)..What a difference a year makes in ticket prices….
Pat in Florida
Continue to be stewards of this relationship. The care you give to each other in true love and true friendship.
Peace be with both of you as you are still there for each other in love, in Christ. Ring or no ring, certificate of marriage or not, you two are bound and it is still a beautiful thing no matter where the paths lead each of you, you are bound ~
Be God’s ~